We all do at some point in our lives…unintentionally.
I was listening to a podcast called “MeSsy” with Christina Applegate & Jamie-lynn Sigler, ep 1, where Christina was admitting how she is going through a deep depression after 3 years of being diagnosed with MS. Both Christina and Jamie-lynn have this same disease. They are actresses by the way. Jamie-lynn, her good friend was trying to console her and giving her advice on how she can still find hope and that it can be turned around for her.
It reminded me of the times when I went through some sort of depression. From my own experiences, what quickly became apparent, was that the other you choose to confide in, might not always be the best person to confide in, as they oftentimes automatically assume that you need advice… and boy, they give you that advice…So what usually occurs, is you start justifying yourself, unnecessarily. Afterwards, it can leave you feeling even more empty or isolated or weak or that something is wrong with you.
Someone who can LISTEN is what a person is looking for when they choose you to confide in. Someone who can allow them to talk uninterruptedly and voice their darkest, deepest secrets without being judged.
Make other people feel heard
It is a real skill you know, for someone to be able to really listen. Not many people are cut out for it. When you can really listen, you make the other person feel heard and valued and empathizing occurs naturally.
So, the next time someone is confiding in you, remember to listen, just listen and see where it takes you. Give them that space, make them understand that they are being heard, however difficult their situation might be.
Sometimes…most of the times actually…someone just wants to voice what is weighing heavy on their heart without necessarily seeking advice.
If the opportunity does present itself to give advice, it will always be in some sort of invitation. All you need do is listen carefully…and you will know if they are inviting you in some way to give advice.
If this resonates and you would like to explore more about yourself, I invite you to book a session with me.